The law is a very interesting entity. Laws are passed to protect and to regulate. To control and to moderate. And as life changes laws get removed or altered or simply rescinded.
However, sometimes they simply slip through the cracks and remain on the books.
Over the years I have collected some of my favorite laws that still remain — just in case I ever decide to go to prison, I want to go down for one of these …
DELAWARE
Getting married on a dare is illegal.
No person shall change clothes in his or her vehicle.
One may not whisper in church.
No person shall pretend to sleep on a bench on the boardwalk. (You can sleep on one, just be honest about it).
ALABAMA
Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
It is illegal to maim oneself to escape work.
It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street.
It is illegal to sell peanuts after sundown on Wednesday.
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile. (Otherwise, it’s fine).
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
In Alaska, it is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
ARIZONA
Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
No more than six girls may live in any house.
A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
[amazon asin=B00KBNP3EY&template=iframe image][amazon asin=B00CH4ONF0&template=iframe image][amazon asin=B0007OF2QQ&template=iframe image][amazon asin=B0006HUYGM&template=iframe image]
No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.
In Tombstone, it is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
In Tucson, women may not wear pants.
ARKANSAS
The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
Honking one’s car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 PM is against the law.
It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.
CALIFORNIA
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. (You can’t make this stuff up).
Women may not drive in a bathrobe.
Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (And I mean NOBODY, start taking this seriously!).
City Council order reads: “No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.
One may not bring their dog to school.
One must obtain a permit from the city to throw hay in a cesspool. (Kid’s, get the proper permit, okay. You’ll get caught).
COLORADO
Throwing missiles at cars is illegal. (Wow, picky)
Catapults may not be fired at buildings.
It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property.
Boulders may not be rolled on city property. (Whow, Colorado is violent).
Couches may not be placed on outside porches.
It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays. (What’s the lesson here? Do not tick off peoples in Colorado, they will fire missiles at your from a catapult).
It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.
FLORIDA
The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
It is illegal — and I mean illegal — to sell your children.
It is illegal for women to fall asleep under a hair dryer in a beauty salon.
A law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while wearing a swimsuit. (Don’t do it).
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
It is considered an offense to shower naked. (You can’t make this up).
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
Torpedoes may not be set off in the city. (Wow, Colorado rocks).
It’s illegal to lean your bicycle against a tree in a cemetery.
In Georgia, it is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body.
In Hawaii, coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears. (We’d better text Katie…)
IDAHO
You may not fish on a camel’s back.
Boise
Residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back.
“The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless weapons are fully exhibited to public view.
ILLINOIS
Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck.
It is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb. (Drinking beer from a bucket in a bus, on a giraffes back, fine. Just not on the curb).
Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
In Indiana, Liquor stores may not sell milk.
IOWA
A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
One-armed piano players must perform for free.
Tanning bed facilities must warn of the risk of getting sunburn.
Ministers must obtain a permit to carry their liquor across state lines.
The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before beginning to put the fire out.
Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. (Huh? One tough horse).
One must obtain written permission from the City Council before throwing bricks into a highway.
Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.
KANSAS
Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
Hitting a vending machine that stole your money is illegal.
No one may wear a bee in their hat. (When would that EVER be an issue?)
Musical car horns are banned.
It is illegal to drive one’s car through a parade.
No one may sing the alphabet on the streets at night. (Hey, what are you in for?)
KENTUCKY
Throwing eggs at a public speaker could result in up to one year in prison.
One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.
A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission.
In Louisiana, it is illegal to shoot lasers at police officers. (Proton torpedoes, plasma cannon, fine. Just no lasers, people ..)
In Maryland, It’s illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits, and, you cannot sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.
MASSACHUSSETTS
It is illegal to give beer to hospital patients.
At a funeral, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches. (Hey, Mrs., Phelps, I know your husband is dead, but isn’t that your forth sandwich? Hands against the wall, spread em.)
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. (Again, this must have been an issue once).
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
Quakers and witches are banned.
Bullets may not be used as currency.
In Missouri, it is illegal to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. (There were a lot of issues with elephants).
In Montana, it is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket to city council proceedings.
In Nevada, benches may not be placed in the middle of any street.
Leave a Reply