Category: Family and Social

  • No knead bread

    No knead bread

    art2

    In November 2006, New York Times food columnist Mark Bittman wrote an article for his Sunday feature—it was just an interview with a baker who came up with a new method to bake bread, no big deal. Except that this baker claimed he had not only developed a manner of making absolutely amazing bread at home without the headaches of kneading and working the dough, but that his process was so easy, a four-year-old could do it.

    Wait.

    Why would a commercial baker develop a way to make his product at home? This seemed a little self-defeating. But this baker—his name was Jim Lahey—stated that his goal was for anyone to be able to create bakery-quality bread—you know, that bread with the hard crust and the rich center, not the squishy store-bought stuff—as often as they wanted.

    So, Mark Bittman met with Lahey and the two baked this new bread together. Bittman wrote the piece and that article launched an entire bread-making movement. There were videos, additional articles, online pieces, cookbooks—all about this new method of baking bread easily.
    Now, baking bread had always been a daunting and intimidating task, one only taken on by the serious home baker. It was time-consuming, required a lot of attention, and was easy to mess up—which is why homemade bread has always been so revered.

    The traditional process of baking bread requires dissolving yeast and sugar in water, then adding in lard, salt, and flour. Then the kneading starts. After that, the bread has to rise for an hour. Then you punch the dough and allow it to deflate and sit for another hour. Then you bake.

    Then, in the 1990s, bread machines came along. These things were great. Now there was a machine where you could load in all the ingredients and allow the device to do all the kneading, punching, waiting, and cooking. You just loaded it up, pressed a few buttons, and walked away. But the bread was still the soft, squishy store-bought kind—a much fresher, preservative-free version of it, but still not that artisan, bakery-style bread we all love.

    Then came Jim Lahey’s method, where we can not only make the most amazing artisan bread ever, but it is so incredibly easy that—yes, a four-year-old can do it.
    It’s cheap—an average loaf will cost you about thirty cents to make—incredibly crispy, tasty, and easy to do.

    What Jim Lahey came up with was a way to allow time to do all the work—up to twenty-four hours. It takes a minute to mix the bread, uses only a quarter teaspoon of yeast (most recipes call for a full teaspoon or more), and allows the yeast to ferment very slowly. The dough is so sticky that you couldn’t knead it even if you wanted to, which is good because you just leave it alone and let it do its thing.

    His method creates a great cracking crust and flavor and is the kind of bread that you get from professionals’ steam-injected ovens. And it does this by allowing the pot you cook it in to act as a steam oven and get the same results. Over the past year, I’ve made dozens of loaves of this bread and with a few tweaks, it’s pretty bullet proof.

    So how do you make no-knead bread? It’s pretty easy.

    First, you will need:

    1¾ cup of warm water
    3 cups of flour
    1 teaspoon of salt
    ¼ teaspoon of yeast

    In a large bowl combine flour, yeast, and salt. Mix the dry ingredients, then add your water. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let it sit. Jim Lahey’s recipe calls for between eighteen and twenty-four hours, but I would say eight hours is a minimum. I make a batch up at night and we have it for breakfast the next day. I also use a Sharpie and write on the plastic wrap the time that I started it, so I don’t forget. If you like a larger loaf and less dense bread, wait longer, toward the twenty-four-hour time frame.

    Place flour over a cutting board and place the dough on it. Fold it into a ball—don’t knead it or work it; just fold it—place back in the bowl and cover back with plastic wrap for thirty minutes.
    HINT: What I do here is, while the dough is on the cutting board, I wash out the bowl, dry it, and place a layer of olive oil on the bottom. Then when the dough goes back in the bowl, I’ll add a little olive oil on the top. This will add flavor and allow the bread to easily slip into the pan when you cook it.

    Preheat the oven to 400 degrees and place a Dutch oven, casserole dish, or anything that has a heavy cover and seals, into the oven to preheat—empty—for ten minutes. You want the pan to be hot when you start.

    Place the bread inside the Dutch oven. I used to cut vent holes on the top of the loaf, but found that they don’t do much and the look of the bread is nicer without them. Cook for thirty minutes.
    Remove the lid and cook for an additional five minutes or so to get the top get crusty.
    It’s tempting to cut it right out of the oven, but you get a better result if you let it cool for ten minutes or so.

    Now, I might add that with this recipe is everything depends on the Dutch oven or pot that you use to cook it in. With mine, I can’t get the crust extremely crusty, without burning the bottom of the bread, so I settle for a medium crust. I’ve seen others do it where they can cook and extra five minutes or so and get it crusty all over. You can try adding parchment paper to the bottom of the pot; that will give you some additional cooking time.

    And that’s it. No-knead bread. Fast, easy, fun, and costs probably around thirty cents a loaf. Obviously, there are no preservatives in it like there are with store-bought bread, so it won’t stay fresh for more than a week or so, but you won’t have to worry about it. This bread goes fast. We’ve never had a loaf make it to three days.

    Two days is our record—two days, five hours, and sixteen minutes.

  • Facebook

    Facebook

    facebook

    Facebook is ten years old this year. Can you believe it? Which means that for a solid decade we’ve been able to digitally connect with friends, co-workers and family, whether they were a few blocks away or around the world — instantaneously. Just like that. We can now share events, tragedies, laugh at jokes and keep connected — all the time; not just through yearly Christmas Cards or the occasionally phone call. We can watch children grow up, share videos of events and rally around when needed. All the time and everywhere — from our laptops to our phones. We are always connected to them.

    And because we are so accustomed to Facebook it’s difficult to remember a time before it. When if you wanted to reconnect with someone you would Google their name and hope to find an email address — which you never could and it actually just lead to bit of digital stalking; looking in but not able to knock at the door. But not now. A quick Facebook search and not only can you often find the person you are looking for, but by the very act that they are on Facebook states they are willing to consider reconnecting with you.

    Today, by the stroke of a keyboard, decades can disappear and within seconds not only can we be joined back to the people we remember so clearly even though so many years have passed, but they are brought into our current life and become part of the day to day Facebook feed. Facebook has made the world small and accessible.

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    Now, I am celebrating my own personal anniversary with Facebook. Three months. I have been a part of Facebook for one quarter now and I have to admit, I like it and I see value in it — even though I did not go willingly. When we were ready to launch 543skills I was told — in a very nice way — to get over it and get on Facebook. It was necessary to coordinate the site with social media which meant getting a personal Facebook page and then one for the site. So I did. But the reality is I think I was ready.

    In part, the delay might have been because I actually felt special because I shunned Facebook. And possibly I was waiting for Mark Zuckerburg to call me and ask if there was anything he ever did to offend me. I would even grandstand a little on how I didn’t get involved in such things. But there were two other parts. The second was that I thought Facebook was a lot more intrusive than it really is. It’s not. You can open the door as wide or as shallow as you want to. But the second reason was —.

    Well, here’s an example.

    There is a company called Publish America. I am not going to say anything about this company; instead let’s play a game. Take the next three minutes — that’s all you’ll need, three minutes — and do a Google search of this company; Publish America. Then come back.

    Go.

    Okay, in those three minutes you have seen many things. In fact, within seconds of your search, on the very first Google page, you will see the words, complaints, lawsuits, beware, as well as the F-Rating from The Better Business Bureau — and this is thirty seconds into your allotted three minutes of time. In fact, on that same first page you will see that this company has changed their name in order to keep operating and put some distance between the lawsuits and image of the old company.

    Now with all of that. Here is the question. In the three minutes of your Google search, if someone were considering signing an agreement with this company, what would you advise them?

    Correct. So why does Publish America continue to get customers? Why do would-be authors sign up with them — every day?

    Great question.

    So here is what Publish America is about. If you want to get published, you send your manuscript into Publish America and they accept it — they say they reject many, but that’s not true (Google; Atlanta Nights and see what I mean). So they accept your book, give you one dollar as an advance and voila, you are a published author.

    So, you tell all your family and friends that you are now published and of course they want to read your book — which Publish America will gladly sell them for thirty dollars. In fact Publish America will sell anyone your soft cover book for thirty dollars — because it’s Print-on-Demand — except bookstores, who won’t touch your book because it’s not edited, its error ridden, because Publish America is not a legitimate publisher, because the price is ridiculously high and because you cannot return them. Oh yeah, once you sign the contract, Publish America now owns your book and they can keep it for seven years — unless you wish to buy it back. The business model is that Publish America markets books to its authors. Period.

    When I first heard about this company I thought it was sickening; taking the dreams of people and stealing it. But if you go on the Publish America website and look at the videos of the Writers Conferences they do, you will see something different. You will see — ego. That’s it. People who want to be read not because they think they have something to say, but because they think what they have to say is more important than what anyone else has to say. They don’t want to go through the work of being a writer, they just want the title.

    And this is what I thought Facebook was. People who didn’t want to go through the work of being a friend, they just wanted the title.

    I was wrong.

    Do people abuse Facebook? Absolutely. There are those who now don’t need to be a friend in order to have a friend. Facebook becomes a substitute, a cheat. Yup. And there are those whose Facebook lives are far more glamorous than their ones in reality. But for every one of them, there are dozens of just plain people. Folks connecting and laughing and celebrating and supporting.

    So sorry, Facebook. I was wrong.

  • The Files

    The Files

     

    memo

    When we are born, when we first take delivery of our body, there is some set up and installation time required for the main component; the brain. And this takes a little while to completely go through. So since nothing interesting can happen until the brain is fully functional, for the first three years of life — as our brain goes through this construction and set up phase — we remain in in a state of LOADING. During this period, software is installing, hardware is being assembled, code is being added in and miles and miles of connections and cables are being strung. It’s a capital project and after several years we are ready for some trial runs as we first put our brain through its paces.

    This is why any long term memories we have begin at around age three because before this, our brain is unable to store and record. But from that point on, we are given the keys to our mind and we start to determine who we are and who are the people around us. What will we believe? Who will we trust? What’s important and what is our place in the universe?

    So we are an adult at 18, we can drink at 21, we can drive at 16, but we are responsible for our own thoughts at around age three.

    Now when we first start using this brand new brain of ours, it begins in vacuum-cleaner-mode as we suck up all information on everything around us. Everything. Pure data. Pure experience. All is recorded.

    Then, after a few years of doing this, there is sufficient enough information to begin to sort it all. So the first category we create is, THINGS THAT ARE SAFE and the other is for THINGS THAT ARE SCARY. And everything new goes in one of these two boxes. Then once those files are established, old data is pulled out and resorted; the chair is safe, but the cat hissed at us once so he now goes in the scary box. And for years the world is divided into two parts. The safe and the frightening.  Safe is good. Scary is bad.

    Then we add new files: what tastes good and what does not. What is easy and what is hard. What gets us attention and what gets us ignored. And file after file after file is filled. And we call this personality; how we react to things, what we avoid and what we gravitate to.

    This is what people remember about us. This is the footprint we leave in a crowd.

    Okay, so here’s the scenario.

    You are now an adult, with your seasoned, battle tested brain. And for this illustration let’s put you in prison — sorry, you’ve lead a very troubled life. So you’re in prison, but because you are an extremely smart convict, one day you escape. You get out of your cell, you get outside the pod and then you get out of the building. You make it over the wall and into the woods. Now, because you are a very detailed person you manage to ditch the orange prison jumpsuit and get into some street clothes. You get a little cash and are a few hundred miles away before the guards even know you’re gone.

    Like I said, you are very, very smart.

    Now, because you are a disciplined person, once you are free you do not make contact with your sister in Albany or your childhood friend in Tulsa and you don’t even go to father’s funeral six months later. You cut all ties with his past at places where they may be looking for you. You get a new identity, a new life and a new job.

    So, here is the question. Will you get caught?

    Answer: Yes.

    Why? Because without even realizing it, you will begin operating according to those old files and if the police are looking for you they will find you. And when they do, you will be making a living as a mechanic, like you did before. And you will be on a dart league, like you were before. And you will be a member of the Moose Club and you will order rose bulbs from a catalog and drink Mountain Dew and follow the New York Giants. All like you did before. And even though your name is now Kevin Loomis, you are the same person as before and if the police follow your profile they will find you and they will drag your sorry backside back to A-block.

    Why? Because as disciplined as you are you never changed your profile. You operated only according to the old files.

    Now, is this programming our personality? Well if it is then you need to alter it or you’re going back to prison. But what if this personality is stopping us from taking better care of our families or making more money? What if it’s stopping us from obtaining a more personal relationship with God or being just plain being happier? After all, this personality of ours didn’t come in a box. We built it with the brain we were given. It was whittled and formed by each experience and fear and belief and desire. A trillion tiny thoughts, a million tiny events chipped away and made us, us.

    We take the same route home from work. We sit in the same seats during lunch. We go to the same garage when our car doesn’t work and we order the same pizza on Saturday night. Is that our personality? Is that what makes us, us? Pizza and car repair?

    So what’s the moral of all this?

    It’s this.

    You are not what you drive or what you eat or the team you root for. You are not even how you have chosen to act for the last thirty or seventy years. The real you — and you may not even know who that really is yet — is much, much more.

    And it’s your job to find out who that is. And then once you know, dump the files you don’t like or need.

    And fill new ones.

  • Managing found-money

    Managing found-money

    found

    So here’s the scenario. You decide to play the lottery. You choose your numbers, pay your dollar and stick the ticket in your pocket. The next day, just for fun, you check the winning numbers and —-. Guess what? You won! A perfect match. Yes! You jump up and down, you check the numbers again and — yes! You won. So you race to the nearest lottery office — trying not to kill yourself or anyone else along the way — and run in with the winning ticket.

    You are escorted into the lottery offices. They verify the ticket and confirm that there was only one winning lottery ticket sold, which means that the entire lottery — let’s go with, twenty-five million dollars — is all yours. Every penny of it. Congratulations.

    So you are lead to a room and you try to control your heart rate as a photographer takes the standard lottery winner photographs: the ones with you smiling and holding your huge cardboard check that has your name, then a dollar sign followed by a 25 and six zeros. The caption under the photograph will read: John Q. Public, our latest 25 million dollar lottery winner.

    Then there are the interviews with the lottery people asking the normal lottery questions: What will you do with your twenty-five million dollars? How does it feel to now be worth twenty-five million dollars? Did you ever dream you would someday win twenty-five million dollars?

    And by the next day, the world will read about everything that you’re planning to do with your brand-new 25 million dollar pot. They will read that you are going to buy a new house for your sister and have one built for your mom. How you are going to pay your niece’s tuition to medical school and give a lot of the money to charity.

    And after the photographs are taken and the interviews are over, you move on to the good part. The best part. The time when they give you all that money. When they give you all that cash; your twenty-five million dollars!

    You fill out more paperwork and are escorted down the hall to a large conference room where your check is waiting. You sit while a smiling lottery man slides the check across a polished conference table. Your flip the check over to see your name and a check for — $834,000.

    You look up at the lottery man.

    “What’s this?” you ask.

    “That? Why, that’s your lottery check, sir.”

    “But,” You say confused. “I won twenty-five million dollars.”

    But the lottery man is ready for this. The lottery man has dealt with this confusion before.

    “Sir,” he says patiently. “You opted for the lottery payment option when you purchased the ticket. Which means that you will receive twenty-five million dollars over a twenty-year period. Which means that we have put twelve and a half million dollars in an annuity for you, which over the course of twenty years will double and will equal twenty-five million dollars. We have taken the taxes out for you and you will receive a check for this amount, on this same date, every year, for the next nineteen years. Congratulations.”

    You stand there and look at your check. Well, you have to admit, $834,000 is still a lot of money. A lot of money! More money than you have ever had at one time before and besides, you will receive a check like this for nineteen more years and by the end of it you will be worth — twenty-five million dollars!

    So you grab the check and head out of the office happy and excited.

    And soon the world will see you with that big paper check. The world will know that you won twenty-five million dollars. And soon you will start to believe that you do have twenty-five million dollars, or at least you soon will have that much. And suddenly your house is too small for a multimillionaire like yourself. Your car is too drab, your vacations too plain. Someone of your wealth needs to live a little. To share a little; to pay back the family and friends who were with you back before you weren’t so rich. And remember, you did promise to pay for your niece’s college and to build your mother a house. And those preapproved credit cards that are clogging up your mailbox can be put to use. It’s okay to charge a few things. Hey, it’s not like you don’t have the money, right? You’re rich now.

    And let’s not forget those friends and family. Friends and family that now feel—no, now believe—that they are entitled to a part of that twenty-five million. You don’t want to seem greedy. You don’t want to disappoint them.

    And then — four months before the next $834,000 check is set to be cut — you notice that things are getting a little financially tight. Hey, you quit your job months ago, remember? And the minimums on those credit cards are pretty high and then there’s the taxes on the three houses you now own and Suzie’s next tuition payment is due. But hey, you’ll weather the storm, right? Borrow a little to bridge the four months until your next check comes in. It’s okay. You’re a millionaire. It’s not like you don’t have the money. It’s not like you’re not rich.

    But here’s the rub. You’re not rich. You don’t have the money. You’re not even a millionaire. You’re an eight hundred thirty-four thousandaire. You’re the same as that executive who earns that same amount every year, only he has one advantage over you. He knows he’s not rich. The world knows he’s not rich. But you have been lied to and now believe that you are rich. You and your family and your friends and the strangers at restaurants who think that asking you to pick up their dinner tab is normal because you got so lucky with the lottery and all—everyone believes you are rich.

    Evelyn Adams, who not only won the New Jersey lottery but won it twice for 5.5 million, now lives in a trailer.

    Suzanne Mullins won 4 million and is now broke and in debt. Abraham Shakespeare won 30 million and was murdered. Michael Carroll won 14 million and spent it on call girls. ‪Jack Whittaker won 314 million, was robbed, had a murder attempt against him and ended up bankrupt. Billie Bob Harrell won 31 million, was broke in less than two years and committed suicide. And you can go on and on and on.

    The National Endowment for Financial Education estimates that 70 percent of people who suddenly receive a large sum of money, will lose it within two years.

    And that’s the depressing news. The good news is that at some time in your life — through hard work, good timing or simple dumb luck — you will experience at least one  financial windfall. Maybe not a lottery win, but a windfall.

    As you are moving along in life, as the pace is steady and calm, pow, an unexpected lever will be turned and money will fall into your lap. This could be through an inheritance, your industry could be poised on a temporary position in the market, you could be the beneficiary of a life insurance policy or a law suit, whatever. It’s an absolute certainty that at some unknown time an unforeseen spike will occur and you will be sitting on an unexpected fat check.

    And depending on your station in life, this could be for a few thousand dollars or one of those with many zeros. But it is a certainty that at least once, you will experience found money.

    Now the bad news is that because this money occurs quickly, because found money has a different value in our psyche than earned income, because of the emotions attached and because of the pressure put on you from others, you will make a lot of mistakes. Many, many, many, mistakes. And it’s of very higher probability — 70% — that you will blow that money. In fact, it’s entirely possible that when the money is gone you could be financially worse off than before you received it.

    The main reason for this is that we believe that that money can solve most of our problems. If we just had more money, the troubles would be over and when that money comes in suddenly it’s easy to ignore other issues.

    RULES FOR FOUND MONEY

    1. Don’t do anything for one year. Money is a very emotional entity and it’s extremely difficult to make clear decisions when there is so much excitement involved. So don’t do anything with it for a year — one solid year. Stick the money in a savings account, hide the bank book and let it sit for twelve months. Now, the only exception to this is paying off some debt but even that is questionable. You need to allow time pass to think — and this will give you an out later on when you need it because …

    2. Your friends and family are not financial advisors. You are going to need some sound advice, absolutely, and that means professionals. Depending on the amount of money you receive will determine how many of your friends and family are willing to help you make decisions. And because you trust them as people you can trust them with your money, right? No. You need to have advice from professionals who have no emotional ties to you. And — if family and friends put apply pressure on you for loans, you can state that the money is all locked up and you can’t do anything with it for a year. And then give them your advisors name to contact.

    3. Don’t buy a house. Yeah, we covered this in the first area, but I’ll say it again. Don’t do anything for a year. People who come into a windfall will typically buy a new house quickly. And you really don’t want to do that before taking the time to think about the consequences — and then there is everything that comes with a new house; taxes, fees, decorators, furniture, taxes, insurance, even utility costs are greater. So don’t do it.

    4. No loans. And don’t be so quick to make new friends. Once you make money, everyone will approach you about new investments, ways to triple that money quickly, or sad stories of funds needed quickly.

    5. Stay healthy. Since money is so important to us — especially to those who didn’t have it before — we tend to think it can fix anything. Many people that come into money neglect their health. You need to stay healthy and strong.

    6. Keep moving on. As much as possible keep your life as close to it was before the windfall. Stay the course, keep plodding ahead and keep moving forward.

  • Riley the Dog

    Riley the Dog

    dog

    There are a few things in my household that I have complete veto power over — not many, but there are a handful. For example, when my wife and children wanted pets, I said no. I felt bad about it, but the answer was no. I did not want us to be one of those pet-houses.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, pets are great; cute, fun, entertaining — I get it. But having animals means being tied down; constantly running home and feeding them, or letting them out or exercising them. I wanted us to be able to travel and move around freely without having to be animal caretakers.

    So I said no. No pets.

    And to their credit, my family reacted in a way that made me proud. There were no complaints from Debbie and no tears from the kids. They took it extremely well.

    And one morning — this would have been about three years later — I was feeding the cats when Debbie and the kids said that they wanted a dog.

    What? A dog? No absolutely not. No dogs.

    And they took it well.

    Then then, about three years later, they asked for another dog? Absolutely not. We already had a dog.

    But they said a new dog would be a companion to Abby, our Golden Retriever. And, they added that a second dog is not much more work than a first dog. And once again, I pulled out that veto power and said no. Sorry, but no. We would not be a house with two dogs — who has two dogs anyway? That’s like having two swimming pools or two basements. Why would you have more than one?

    And five years later, after Murphy died, we were back to only one dog, so…

    Well, you get the picture.

    We got Riley about six months ago.

    Now the difference between Riley and the other dogs we’ve had — two Golden Retrievers and a Basset Hound — is that Riley is a mixed breed dog.

    After having had three purebreds, I have realized that all breeds are bred to do something — to hunt, to point, to herd, to show, to…something. And that DNA is telling them to herd, to protect, to point — first. Then, if they have some free time, they can be a pet.

    Now, many breeds make excellent pets — it says so right in the book — but some are first and foremost bred to do something else.

    Not that purebred dogs aren’t great. They are. But I prefer my mutt.

    When you take out that breeding — rip out the generations of DNA that force a dog to react a certain way or be on the lookout for a specific action, and strip the dog down to its basic structure — you let the dog just be a dog.

    And when you get to be just a dog, you have the opportunity to see the world through a regular ol’ dog’s eyes. And frankly, they have it all figured out. Riley has it all figured out.

    So here is what Riley has to tell you about life.

    1. Where you are, is the place to be.

    Riley doesn’t wonder if there is something better upstairs or around the corner. All he knows is that right here, right now, is where it’s at. This is the center of the universe and where he’s happy and grateful. He doesn’t regret or second guess. This moment, this time, is the best time that there is, or will ever be.

    2. All memories are good memories.

    Riley doesn’t mentally file away the times you bumped his nose when walking past him in the middle of the kitchen. He forgot how Abby got three more dog biscuits than he did and he has no clue that you could have walked him an hour earlier on Sunday but chose not to. Riley doesn’t know how to keep memories like this or what to do with them even if he did. He doesn’t understand what envy or jealousy or bitterness is and if he did, he would abandon it. It would bore him.

     3. As great as life is, there is always room for new people.

    Riley loves the people around him and is content with just them, forever. But when a new person enters his life he reacts as if it was the first person he ever met. Riley doesn’t treat his tenth friend less than his first friend. Everyone who enters his world is amazing, valuable, and worth getting to know. And he does not respond to people based on how they respond to him. He doesn’t care. He focuses on them, regardless of what they think about him.

    That’s what Riley wanted me to tell you.

  • The truth about self-discipline

    The truth about self-discipline

     

    red

    Okay, let’s say you have a goal you want to achieve and for the sake of the example let’s make it a weight and fitness goal. You want to lose twenty pounds. So in order to do this you put together a plan to achieve your goal; you create a fitness schedule, develop a nutritional diet, get a training partner, fill your Facebook and Twitter pages with you can do it re-posts and hit the ground running. Pow, slam, bang. You’re off.

    Now, a few weeks go by and you’ve lost some weight, you feel good, you’re gaining momentum until — until. Until that first big craving hits. And when this craving shows up — strong, determined and bloodthirsty — things start to go bad.

    The craving slithers on the scene and his desires are clear. He hates you. And he wants to destroy you and in order to do that he is going to make you eat that entire family size chicken and gravy, bucket meal. Now, you want to stop the craving, because the last thing in the world you want to do is to have to eat that entire bucket of crispy goodness.

    So the fight begins and the first punch is thrown.

    Over the next few minutes you slug it out with your craving — he gains a little, then you, then him again — until a winner is declared. And either the craving slumps away, happy and fat; leaving you crying with gravy on your shirt. Or you win and the craving leaves, bumping your shoulder and telling you that he’ll be back — loser.

    And this is how we see the path of self-discipline. As a fight. A fight between us and that powerful force out there who wants to hurt us, humiliate us and control us. So the only choice is that this force has to be defeated, beaten and destroyed.

    Right?

    No.

    And here’s why. Is there a force that wants us to eat that food?

    Yes. Yes there is.

    Does it hate us?

    No. It’s trying to keep us safe and happy — actually that’s what its job is.

    Okay, so who put it there?

    We did.

    That force — that strong and destructive entity that can only be defeated by our grit and grace — is not a force at all. It’s a little piece of software — let’s call it wetware — that is clicking along doing what we told it to do. We set it. We programmed it and then we left and forgot it and when it showed back up we tried to fight it — forgetting that we had all the passwords.

    Here’s a real life parallel. There are three ladies that work at a barbershop near our home and one of these ladies smokes. She has smoked for years and has she tried quitting several times. And one particular time that she was trying to quit, her entire personality changed. I mean, this sweet and kind woman was now short tempered and actually cruel. Mean. Her personality altered so much, that those around her just wanted their friend to come back. They no longer cared about her smoking. In fact, customers began coming in with packs of cigarettes for her — they actually did, buying cigarettes for the first time in their lives to give to her.

    The same people — the very same ones — that for years had begged her to quit smoking, were now the very ones who wanted her to smoke the most.

    “Just smoke one,” they’d say, through frightened and concerned smiles.  “Just smoke one and everything will be okay.”

    And it was okay. She smoked and went back to herself. The person they loved came back.

    Don’t let me get stressed, we tell the wetware.

    Okay. And the wetware searches to make that happen and locks it in. Chicken bucket. And the higher the stress is — even if the very stress is about ‘not eating the chicken bucket — the more the program will try to get you to eat it so you’re not stressed.

    So here is the good news. That force, that all powerful force that you think you have to fight — is actually on your side. As powerful as you think he is, he can be even more powerful helping you — since that’s all he wants anyway. It’s all he’s ever wanted.

    He doesn’t care if you smoke, he just wants you happy. He doesn’t care if you are overweight, he just wants you happy.

    But what if he can help you do both?

    Now here is where things get a little touchee-feellee for a while. So, how do we do this? How do we reprogram the wetware?

    By talking to it.

    I know, it sounds weird, but that is when the programming occurs. And how it occurs. And the best time to talk to it is when one of these cravings are are turned on — when the wetware is active.

    Just start asking it, why do you want me to have this? What will I get out of this?  And the big one — what are you afraid of, for me?

    And don’t be surprised if it’s the last query that gets you the answer. Fear — what are you afraid of, for me?

    And that’s it. That’s really all there is to it. When that ‘craving’, that desire, that urge to avoid, comes around, simply talk to it. That’s the only way to lift up the lid and look right into the actual programming code; to see what is driving that piece of wetware.

    Why do you want me to do this?

    What am I afraid of?

    What am I trying to avoid by doing this?

    And you’ll get your answer.

    That’s the secret.

     

  • The Fifty-Year-Old You

    The Fifty-Year-Old You

    shutterstock_121370143

    Medifast has come up with an advertising campaign that is not only very creative, but extremely powerful. In these campaigns a person is filmed at the beginning of their fitness plan, having a conversation with someone in a chair next to them — only there is no one in that chair. They are speaking as if they are talking to a new version of themselves, 12 weeks into the program. Then, at the end of the 12 weeks, the same individual comes back and is filmed talking to the other empty chair, as if having a conversation with themselves from 12 weeks ago. Through some video magic these two films are edited into a seamless conversation.

    We see the old version —- beaten, discouraged, and afraid — being encouraged by the new version who is strong, fit, and confident. Of course the new individual is not afraid of anything, because the new one knows what will happen. The new you holds all the secrets.

    Today, I have done the same thing for you — the you of today. I’ve gone into the future and found you at 50 years old. We have spoken and I have brought him here and he wants to tell you a few things. He wants to talk to his 20-year-old, 30-year-old, and 40-year-old self, to not only let him know what to expect but to give him his insights and cheats for the next few decades.

    So here are the five things the 50-year-old you wants you to know.

    #1. You look good.  

    Yes, there will come a point, ten, twenty, or thirty years from now, when you will look at a picture of yourself at this current point in time — it could even be a picture that is taken at this very moment — and that new you is going to smile and think, Wow, I wasn’t bad looking back then.

    Today is the best you will look. Now this might sound like bad news, but it’s not. It does not mean that your appearance will degrade from now on. It means that you won’t appreciate your appearance until it does.

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    And that’s the clincher. There will never, ever, be a time when the exact amount you appreciate how you look meets the exact way you look. It just doesn’t happen. Because by the time you do appreciate it, time has moved on and you’re looking back at a photograph and wishing you looked like that now.

    Here is the paradox: If the 30-year-old you was looking at a photograph of the 20-year-old you, he would wish he looked like that now. And if you took a picture of that you looking at that picture, the 40-year-old you would look at the 30-year-old you and wish the same thing — while the 30-year-old you was wishing it on the 20-year-old you in the photograph.

    Which means that someday you will want to look like exactly the way you do right now. Learn to appreciate it.

     #2. Most of the time, you’re kind of a jerk.

    Although your physical appearance is just fine the way it is, your view of life kind of sucks. As a man in your 20s, 30s, and even 40s, your skin is far too thin and your self-involvement levels are way too high. So much that if you and the 50-year-old version of you were talking at a party, the older version would politely excuse himself and find someone more interesting to be around.

    Insecurity runs deep in men and when you mix that with our need for acceptance, the end result is a highly internalized, afraid, and somewhat shallow individual.

    What the evidence? The 50-year-old version of yourself never takes a selfie. Never. Whereas the 20, 30, and 40-year-old version may have dozens of them scattered across social networks.

    Now mix this self-involvement along with another trait the younger version of you has: the need to be right. The younger version of you not only needs to be right, but he needs to prove to those people around him that he’s right — no matter what.

    Although you may build houses for the poor and read to the blind on your free time, your 20, 30, and even 40-year-old attitude needs a little tweaking. Eventually, your confidence will increase and you’ll settle into a solid view of the world, but until then, relax, take the focus off yourself and think.

    #3. Money is better than stuff.

    Now this may seem like a somewhat cold view of life, but it’s actually the opposite. The 50-year-old you knows that money — meaning the actual currency that you’ve earned and built up — is far better than the things you can buy with that currency.

    Yes, there will be a day when you are looking at that photo album and you’ll miss that car you had when you were 20 or that motorcycle you biked to Maine on. But in reality you’re not missing the tangible car, you’re missing the places you went in it — you’re missing the friends that rode with you to Maine.

    As cold and non-poetic as it sounds, the 50-year-old you know that there is confidence to be had in working hard and having a nest egg — actual currency saved — rather than a box full of toys.

    40% of everything you buy will be gone in a year.

    90% will be gone in four, so the total amount you paid for 100% of your stuff has to be amortized across 10% of it.

    Oh, and this doesn’t even include your cell phone and all the electronic gadgets because our constant need to upgrade makes these rentals more than purchases; we simply don’t keep them long enough.

    #4. That same extended family you avoided when you were in your 20s, is the same one you’ll be helping to keep together in your 50s.

    As the focus comes off of you, it goes on to others. The 20-year-old version of you will come up with every excuse to miss the family reunion. In your 30s you will tolerate these get-togethers. In your 40s you will look forward to them, and in your 50s you will be organizing them.

    That same internalized pride we had in our 20s is spread out once we hit 50. We become less proud of us and more proud of those that contributed to us.

    #5. Being 50 is something to look forward to, not fear.

    The 50-year-old version of you is happy, excited, hard-working and confident, and by the time you hit 50 you are just hitting your stride and looking forward to each day and each challenge. The 50-year-old you has a view of life that is clear and accurate and he knows what’s important and what is not. The 50-year-old you laughs more and worries less.

    And he can’t wait to meet you.

  • Becoming the non-passive man

    Becoming the non-passive man

    passive dogThere is this very strange, very weird, social phenomenon that occurs when a man encounters a stranger, that’s very, very interesting — I see women doing a version of this too, but it’s different with them — which makes this particular experience pretty much a guy-thing.

    So, here’s the scenario.

    You are stopping at a store on your way home from work. You locate the store and drive into the lot. You park and turn the car off. You step out of the car, close the door and hit that little button on your key fob to lock the doors; click and beep. The car is safe.

    Now you head towards the store, but as you are walking, you notice that another man is walking out of the store towards you. So unbeknownst to you, some incredibly fast and complicated mental calculations are being made, deep inside your man brain — and most of them you won’t even be aware of. The first thing that occurs is that within milliseconds, your subconscious sends out a probe to determine if the strangers path will be  beyond your personal space  — in other words, will he be three feet away or more, which would place him outside of the danger-zone.

    So the probe comes back and the determination is negative. At the current rate of speed and the space available between the parked cars, the stranger will walk within three feet of you. A full second later we move into prep-mode and this is when we first notice that something is occurring. We see the stranger and we begin to feel just the smallest amount of discomfort; just a tiny bit of unease. We continue walking. We get within four feet of the stranger and he looks up. We look up. Something clicks and we give the stranger — the look. Then we state our greeting — this could be a ‘sup, how ya doin;, hey. The stranger responds, he passes and we continue to the store. Moment over.

    Now what just happened?

    [amazon asin=B007RGCV66&template=iframe image][amazon asin=B00439LBA2&template=iframe image][amazon asin=B00L8MIBC8&template=iframe image][amazon asin=B00IGR1S2I&template=iframe image]

    Well, a lot. Because we just gave the stranger the look and the look is actually a big deal. To describe the look is fairly easy — and once you’ve noticed it, you’ll see it all the time — and it’s simply this. If you press your lips together tightly — as tight as you can — and smile. That’s it. That’s the look.

    So why is it important? Well, what’s interesting about the look is that it’s the — please don’t hurt me, expression. It’s the default passive reaction. It’s the, I don’t want any trouble, I’m just walking here, plea. It’s the human equivalent of lying down to expose our belly to let the bigger dog — the important dog — know that we admit they we are smaller and weaker. Yup, all that in one expression.

    Why do we do this? And why do we care if we do?

    Well first, as we said, it’s a guy thing. Sit in that same parking lot and watch women walk in and out of the store and unless they know someone, they don’t need to acknowledge them. Men do. We travel through life with our social identity constantly on and constantly being updated. And when we acknowledge with the look there is actual damage being done. How?

    In the animal world there are two states; dominant and submissive. A submissive dog — a good dog — will show the dominant dog — the important dog — that they pose no threat. That they don’t want to take anything from them. That they know their place. This is true. But we are not dogs. We are men.

    And that’s where the trick lies because when we were boys we saw men. We admired them and we developed this image of men — this unrealistic, unobtainable, two dimensional image and we told ourselves that when we became men we will be just as strong, just as sure and just as smart as the other men around us. Then we got older. And we were absolutely none of these things. We were frightened and unsure and confused and afraid. And because we knew these were not the traits of the men we saw, we determined that we weren’t men. That we had failed as men. Oh we might be a good person, or a kind friend or a good son, but as men we failed.

    We didn’t.

    Our fathers — our grandfathers, our bosses, our neighbors — those men that we see as the ideal, were just as weak and just as afraid and just as stupid as us. They weren’t always strong and smart and selfless and sometimes they did really dumb things. We can be confident in our career and in our family.

    We can be satisfied with our home and with our finances. We can be in great physical shape and be a good father, a great husband and a sold friend but when it comes to ranking where we believe we fit on the man chart, we will always, always, always, rank ourselves lowly.

    Because the chart is wrong. And the look pushes us down a tiny microscopic step  every time we use it. The stranger in the Kroger parking lot that we pass on the way in to the store, is not going to punch us as we pass by. We know that. But every time we use the look, we have internally just filed away a moment as if we ran from a fight.

    Being courteous is something we give.

    Being passive is something that is taken from us; something that is done to us.

    Because we are not the good dog. And we are not seven years old on a playground. We are strong, thinking men. And there is no place for being passive with strong, thinking men. We either screw up or we don’t. We go or we stay. We decide and we will probably decide wrong — and we do it.

    We are civil.

    We are reasonable.

    We are tolerant.

    And we are rational.

    But we are not passive.

  • REVIEW: Namco Plug-Play TV Games

    REVIEW: Namco Plug-Play TV Games

    namco

    I am not a gamer.

    I don’t own an X-Box or a PlayStation — even though as a father I’ve paid for several of these over the years — and I have probably logged in less than five lifetime hours on Halo or Call of Duty when my kids have asked me to play — I spend most of my time in corners trying to get my character to turn around and sober up.

    But having been a college student in the early 1980’s, I have spent more than my fair share of hours in dark arcades; dumping quarter after quarter of my Guaranteed Student Loan into various Tron, Xevious and Pitfall games — swearing that this will be the last one and then I’d do my laundry and try to locate where the library.

    I have good memories of these days— usually with a group of people thinking we would be eighteen forever and the world was ours — if we ever got out of the arcade and did any real work. Which we would, right after this game.

    One of my favorite arcade games was one called Dig Dug. I’m not really sure why I liked Dig Dug so much or what it really was about; as the object was to guide a man in a space suit underground to either avoid orange creatures with scuba masks and fire-breathing dragons, or destroy them with a bicycle pump — hey, I’m not saying it’s literature I’m just saying it was fun. So when my kids got one of the Plug-N-Play games as a gift a several years ago — have you ever seen these? They are not a counsel but a square box with a few buttons and a joystick that you just plug into the TV and go — I was excited to see that it had Dig Dug on it.

    We played this game for hours and for the first — and only time — I was the Big Kahuna of video games in our house — smoking them at every turn.

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    Then the game broke and the party was over and I went back to my status as game outsider.

    About a month ago I told my wife that I wanted to see if we could find another one of these Plug-N-Play games — for the comradery with my kids of course, I have better things to do — and she found one on e-bay and bought it.

    The unit she bought was by Namco and was called Plug-Play TV Games.

    Now, the great thing about these classic arcade games is that they follow a specific pattern. If you memorize the pattern on Level 1 and react the same way every time, the game will react the same way as well. Every time. So once you mastered that level you would move to level 2 and keep going.

    This game had none of that — which I know exists because the other unit we had reacted as the old game did. Here, each level was random, responding differently every time which meant there was no way to build up skill and move up levels. It was simple luck that may, or may not, allow you to survive. There was absolutely no way to develop any skill in the game.

    Also, the timing was delayed so if you tried to lure an orange guy or a dragon into a corner as you could on the arcade game, this game would simply eat you. But the absolute worse thing about it was in the design of the box itself. The RESET button is on the upper left of the box and is not recessed. So when you gripped the box tightly to fire or move, you often hit the reset button with your hand — usually right in the middle of a game — and the screen would go black and start over.

    I know, I know. It’s just a toy. But there are some of these Plug-N-Play games that react like the old ones did and are pretty fun to play. Not just so you can relive the glory days but because you can get to levels that your wallet wouldn’t allow in the 1980’s — you can go back and remove the limits our finances dictated back then. And we can finally have closure.

    Unfortunately this game is not one of them.

  • Take the 30-day, buy used, challenge

    Take the 30-day, buy used, challenge

    actually thrift

    Okay, here is an exercise.

    Let’s say that something bad happens — some financial catastrophe — and you need to come up with an enormous amount of money quickly. And for the sake of this exercise let’s also say that you have already tapped into your savings, your 401K, your lines of credit, cash advances and anything else you can think of. All the traditional methods are exhausted and you still need cash. A lot more. So now all that is left are your things. Your stuff; the things you own. All that you have to sell are those very items you see and use everyday.

    But how much are those things worth? — not how much did they cost, but how much are they really worth? — because a baseball card might have a value of a thousand dollars but until someone puts that amount in your hand, its value is undetermined.

    In this financial scenario, if you had to sell all the things you own, outside of owning a box of gold coins or having a few Corvette’s in your garage, the true value of what we have — meaning what someone else would pay us for them — is actually very small.

    Our flat screen TV may have cost three grand, but if no one is going to give us  three grand for it — especially if it’s a few years old and is no longer the hot technology — it’s probably worth a hundred or less.

    Outside of owning luxury items or precious stones and metal, the contents of an average four bedroom home would sell in an estate sale for $6,000.

    Not bad. Except that the replacement cost of those same items would be  $20,000. Meaning what we pay $20,000 for items that have a street value of $6,000.

    Here’s an example. A few years ago I splurged and bought my wife a very nice gold chain — a jewelry store near our home was having a big sale and a 14 carrot gold chain that would normally be $1,200 was now $800.00. So I bought it. And just out of curiosity — just because I wanted to gloat on what a bargain I had gotten — I stopped at a pawn shop on my way home. I said that I might be interested in pawning the piece and wanted to know how much I would get for it. The gold was tested and weighed and an offer was made.

    $140

    My $800 purchase had a true value of $140.

    Now, I might have found a slightly higher offer at another pawn shop. Maybe. But the highest offer someone had given me was $140 so that was the current value.

    I still gave my wife the necklace — it was a gift and it was not about the money — but it did get me thinking.

    Now this discussion is not about how to get the highest dollar for your things when you sell them. It is demonstrating that anything we buy new — and I mean anything —- the value depreciates just like a car. A $200 microwave has a resale value of around $50. A $100 vacuum cleaner would sell for $30 and a $600 lawn mower would get you about $75. That is the true value of those items.

    So here is the challenge. Take a month and be resolved to be on the other side of this curve. For one month. For thirty days. Vow to buy all the items you need — every coffee maker, every shirt, every book — used.

    Instead of running to Wal Mart on your way home — stop at The Good Will instead. And when you need to swing by Radio Shack, hit the local Pawn Shop. Instead of Target, pick up a few things at The Thrift Store or scan Craigslist.

    Just do it for thirty days — it  won’t be as convenient and it may take some patience — but vow to do it for one month.

    And let me know what happens.

  • The five things our grandfathers would kick our tails for

    The five things our grandfathers would kick our tails for

    grand

    There is an old story about two frogs. The first frog was tossed into a pot of boiling water. He screamed — Yeah, I looked it up, frogs can actually scream — http://conservationreport.com/2009/03/03/nature-screaming-frogs/ — and then he jumped out of the pot. He checked himself over. He took a few frog breaths, and then he moved on with his frog life.

    But the second frog was different. He was tossed into the pot while the water was still cool. The frog swam around. He checked everything out and saw nothing to be concerned about so he settled in. Then the burner under the pot was turned on, the water all around the frog began to heat up, slowly. But the frog doesn’t seem to notice or care. Bit by bit the water temperature increased. There were no frog screams. There were no frog escape attempts. The frog simply remains in the pot until the water boiled. And until —. Dead frog.

    Now, this phenomenon is often referred to as creeping normalcy or a shifting baseline and it describes the state that occurs when change occurs slowly, in small steps, over time. And because we only see the parts of the change not the total change itself, we don’t react to it.

    Every day. Every moment. Our lives change. What is normal today was not normal only a few years ago.

    Now, yes, technology has something to do with this.  But the big changes, the sweeping changes, the dead frog changes, have very little to do with technology. These changes are driven by shifting priorities and varying acceptance.

    Now let’s turn back the clock a bit. Let’s take a look at our normal, everyday lives through someone else perspective. Let’s go back in time but not simply to the generation before us  — born in the 1950’s — but to the one before that — the ones born in the 1920’s and ’30’s. This is the generation that fought in World War II. This is the generation that fought in Korea — in fact, many WWII vets volunteered to fight again in Korea. This is the generation that was raised through The Great Depression. This is the generations that struggled and sweated and built the structure of this country and is the one that lead Tom Brokow to deem it as “…the greatest generation any society has ever produced.”

    If we are going to look at the everyday structure of our society, then what better generation to view it through than the eyes of that group of men.

    Through the eyes of our grandfathers.

    Now, these changes are not large cultural and world changes — because the big changes are not the interesting ones. What’s fascinating is the little stuff. The tiny insignificant items that move and wiggle and shift all around us until one day we wake up and see it all as normal. But this version of normal would cause our grandfathers to smack us on the back of the head.

    So what would these men — our grandfathers — think of the every day, the basic, the routine, aspect of our lives today?

     

    THE FIVE THINGS OUR GRANDFATHERS WOULD KICK OUT TAILS FOR.

     

     1. Bottled water.

    This is one of those dead frog changes that has built up slowly for the last few decades and is now so embedded in our culture that we don’t even notice it. But think about it. We are paying —- for water.

    The stuff that comes out free from sinks and water fountains and garden hoses?

    Water.

    Which means that in a factory some place, someone turns the tap on, filters the water for taste — because our sensitive twenty-first century palate wants all our water to taste the same — squirts it into a plastic bottles and we buy it by the truck loads.

    In fact, the bottled water industry is a 60 Billion dollar industry. But did you realize that we buy more bottled water than we buy milk? And ready for a real surprise? We also buy more bottled water than we do — beer.

    So, say we yanked a solider out of the battlefield of World War II and brought him to the modern day. Then we gave him three bucks and said, Okay, go to that convenient store and buy me a bottle of water.

    The soldier would look at you strangely. He would walk into the store and open the cooler. He would pick up the water and look at the money you gave him and then look at the bottle of water. He would check the ingredients — nope, just water. And then he would walk back to you.

    “No,” he’d say. “I can’t do it.

    It would be so foreign to him that he wouldn’t be able to do it.

    http://www.bottledwater.org/economics/bottled-water-market

    2. The backyard deck.

    Backyard decks are great places. It’s where we entertain family and friends. It’s where we barbecue and it’s the place we often relax. But in our grandfathers day there was a place called the front porch and this was a social place. An open and connected place to sit and visit with neighbors.

    During this time it was very common to finish dinner and take a walk. And during this walk you would stop and visit with the folks sitting on their porch. You would connect with the neighborhood. Hear the gossip and check up on people. When you had visitors at your home, you often sat on the porch. When you listened to the ball game, you did it on the front porch so anyone could stop and listen with you.

    The front porch was open. The front porch was inviting.

    When the front porch became a merely decorative place, our neighborhoods became less involved with us and we became less involved with them. Now, we can now drive into our driveway, hit the electronic garage door opener, drive into the garage and never see our neighbors.

    3. Logos

    Your grandfather probably had a set of ESSO Put a Tiger in Your Tank coffee mugs. They were thick and white and very common and he probably had a few of them. Why? Because they gave them away free when you purchased ESSO gas. Your grandfather had the coffee cups with the ESSO tiger logo on it because they were free. No other reason. If they had offered to sell those same mugs — even at a very low cost — your grandfather would have sneered.

    Why would I pay to buy someone’s name on a mug?

    But today we do. We actually pay — and pay quite a bit — for the right to wear clothing, coffee mugs, key chains or hats that says Aeropostale, Harley Davidson or Nike.

    And I haven’t even gotten into the sports logos yet. With sports we pay for the right to promote our favorite sports teams. And what would your grandfather say when you spent eighty bucks to wear your favorite quarterbacks jersey?

    What?

    Your grandfather would want to know why any man would want to put another man’s name on his own back?

    What’s wrong with your own name? —he’d ask. What’s wrong with doing something you are proud of instead of pretending to be someone else?

    4. Credit

    Now before you argue, that there wasn’t credit available in your grandfather’s day, you’re wrong. Of course there was. There has always been credit. The only difference is that in your grandfather’s day, credit was seen as a weakness not a reward. In his day, the people who used credit were the ones who could not afford to pay in cash. They were looked down on because a man in debt was no man at all.

    Credit meant bad planning. Credit meant that you didn’t earn enough to take care of yourself and your family. The men that lived through The Great Depression and fought in foreign lands and came back home to raise families had only one rule. If you can’t afford it — meaning you don’t have the cash money to buy it — then you go without it.

    5. T-shirts  

    Yes, your grandfather owned t-shirts — he wore them under his dress shirts. And the only time you saw him in wearing only it, was when he was sitting in his chair listening to the ball game, or when he was mowing the lawn. And if someone came to the door, he would grab his dress shirt and pull it on before opening the door.

    When your grandfather went out to eat, he wore a tie. Even if he was a blue collar guy there was a sense of pride that he had.

    Whether you were a ditch digger or a doctor, a lawyer or a shoe shine man, there was a sense of pride in appearance.

    Now it’s casual —- well, that’s what we call it — but casual has long fallen into a new category. Now we have work clothes and everything else. We don’t dress for dinner at a restaurant, much less dress for dinner at our home.

    Your grandfather did. He would often dress to eat dinner with his wife and family. Because it was an event. He was proud to have earned the money for the food. He was proud of his home and wife and his children.

    Your grandfather had pride.

    And that’s probably what it boils down to. Pride. Our grandfathers had it and we as modern men are lacking it.

    Why did they have it? Because they deserved it. They fought and sacrificed and planned for it.  They earned that pride — it wasn’t given to them, they paid for it several times over.

    When is the last time we sacrificed or went without? When is the last time that we felt real pride in something — not simply in the pride in a new car we owe on or of what comforts we can rent. But true, bone deep pride?

    … for most of us, it’s been a long time.