When we are born, when we first take delivery of our body, there is some set up and installation time required for the main component; the brain. And this takes a little while to completely go through. So since nothing interesting can happen until the brain is fully functional, for the first three years of life — as our brain goes through this construction and set up phase — we remain in in a state of LOADING. During this period, software is installing, hardware is being assembled, code is being added in and miles and miles of connections and cables are being strung. It’s a capital project and after several years we are ready for some trial runs as we first put our brain through its paces.

This is why any long term memories we have begin at around age three because before this, our brain is unable to store and record. But from that point on, we are given the keys to our mind and we start to determine who we are and who are the people around us. What will we believe? Who will we trust? What’s important and what is our place in the universe?

So we are an adult at 18, we can drink at 21, we can drive at 16, but we are responsible for our own thoughts at around age three.

Now when we first start using this brand new brain of ours, it begins in vacuum-cleaner-mode as we suck up all information on everything around us. Everything. Pure data. Pure experience. All is recorded.

Then, after a few years of doing this, there is sufficient enough information to begin to sort it all. So the first category we create is, THINGS THAT ARE SAFE and the other is for THINGS THAT ARE SCARY. And everything new goes in one of these two boxes. Then once those files are established, old data is pulled out and resorted; the chair is safe, but the cat hissed at us once so he now goes in the scary box. And for years the world is divided into two parts. The safe and the frightening.  Safe is good. Scary is bad.

Then we add new files: what tastes good and what does not. What is easy and what is hard. What gets us attention and what gets us ignored. And file after file after file is filled. And we call this personality; how we react to things, what we avoid and what we gravitate to.

This is what people remember about us. This is the footprint we leave in a crowd.

Okay, so here’s the scenario.

You are now an adult, with your seasoned, battle tested brain. And for this illustration let’s put you in prison — sorry, you’ve lead a very troubled life. So you’re in prison, but because you are an extremely smart convict, one day you escape. You get out of your cell, you get outside the pod and then you get out of the building. You make it over the wall and into the woods. Now, because you are a very detailed person you manage to ditch the orange prison jumpsuit and get into some street clothes. You get a little cash and are a few hundred miles away before the guards even know you’re gone.

Like I said, you are very, very smart.

Now, because you are a disciplined person, once you are free you do not make contact with your sister in Albany or your childhood friend in Tulsa and you don’t even go to father’s funeral six months later. You cut all ties with his past at places where they may be looking for you. You get a new identity, a new life and a new job.

So, here is the question. Will you get caught?

Answer: Yes.

Why? Because without even realizing it, you will begin operating according to those old files and if the police are looking for you they will find you. And when they do, you will be making a living as a mechanic, like you did before. And you will be on a dart league, like you were before. And you will be a member of the Moose Club and you will order rose bulbs from a catalog and drink Mountain Dew and follow the New York Giants. All like you did before. And even though your name is now Kevin Loomis, you are the same person as before and if the police follow your profile they will find you and they will drag your sorry backside back to A-block.

Why? Because as disciplined as you are you never changed your profile. You operated only according to the old files.

Now, is this programming our personality? Well if it is then you need to alter it or you’re going back to prison. But what if this personality is stopping us from taking better care of our families or making more money? What if it’s stopping us from obtaining a more personal relationship with God or being just plain being happier? After all, this personality of ours didn’t come in a box. We built it with the brain we were given. It was whittled and formed by each experience and fear and belief and desire. A trillion tiny thoughts, a million tiny events chipped away and made us, us.

We take the same route home from work. We sit in the same seats during lunch. We go to the same garage when our car doesn’t work and we order the same pizza on Saturday night. Is that our personality? Is that what makes us, us? Pizza and car repair?

So what’s the moral of all this?

It’s this.

You are not what you drive or what you eat or the team you root for. You are not even how you have chosen to act for the last thirty or seventy years. The real you — and you may not even know who that really is yet — is much, much more.

And it’s your job to find out who that is. And then once you know, dump the files you don’t like or need.

And fill new ones.