Now the basics of jumpstarting a car are extremely simple and require only three parts. One, a car with a dead battery — the jump-ee. Two, a car with a live battery — jump-er. And three, a set of large, industrial, jumper cables.

Now, this is a very simple process that gets complicated quickly if you are lacking or have undersized jumper cables. The reason for this is that it’s always  easier to find someone willing to give your car a jumpstart, than it is to find someone willing to do so who also has a set of jumper cables — or a set sized large enough to actually work. You may find one or you may find the other, but now you need to find both. This is the same as needing help moving, but you can only accept help from friends with red hair — you’ve not only decreased your odds but you have put yourself in a vulnerable position.

Being men means that we are prepared to take care of ourselves, the people we care about and others who need our help along the way. It’s okay to have a dead battery. It’s not okay to drive around unprepared expecting others to take care of us. A man on the side of the road with a sign reading NEED JUMPER CABLES, is different than that same man with his hood up, cables ready, looking for a quick charge from a willing traveler.

And don’t think for one minute that those cheap jumper cables that came with the car, or the set that was in the emergency car kit your aunt gave you for Christmas, count. They don’t. They are worthless and unreliable. I have helped more people jumpstart cars that were trying to do so with cheap cables, than those who had no cables at all. They just don’t work. Go out and get yourself a heavy set of jumper cables — 6 gauge or better (remember, the lower the gauge number the better, so, 6 is better than 8 and 4 is better than 6, etc.) — 300 amp or better with rubber handles on the clamps; not plastic ones. Also, a 15’ length is a good length. 12’ cables are often hard to use if you have to pull the cars in at a strange angle and with more than 15’ you risk some current loss.

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THE PROCESS:

So, now you’ve got a decent set of jumper cables, a car with a battery that needs to be jump started (jump-ee) and a car that is has a fully charged battery (jump-er). From here it’s pretty straightforward. With the jump-er’s car running — it’s very important that the car jumpstarting from is running — you’ll start the process.

First you need to determine if the problem with the car is truly a dead battery. So, if when you turn the key and the car does nothing or if it tries to turn over but can’t, it’s most likely to battery. If the dash lights come on and/or there is a clicking sound when you try to start the car, this might be a starter issue instead of a battery.

The rule of jumper cables is simple. It doesn’t matter which way you connect the cables, as long as they are the same on both cars. So, if the black jumper cable clamp is on the positive terminal on the jump-er, then the black clamp goes on the positive terminal of the jump-ee. The black and orange (or yellow) on the cables does not mean positive or negative, it’s just a way to distinguish a difference between the cables.

So that means, do not cross the cables. Don’t put the red cable on positive of the jump-er and the other red end on negative of the jump-ee. If you do, bad things will happen. But the good news is, that’s really the only rule of using jumper cables.

So let’s say you choose to connect red to positive on the jump-ee car, then red to positive on the jump-er. Then go back and do black to negative on jump-ee and then black to heavy metal bracket or frame of the jumper — I’ve connected the negative to the negative, but this is no longer recommended.

Now, you wait a minute to let the charge build up then try and start the car. If it starts, great. If it does not start, wait a few more minutes and let the charge build up further. Try again. If still nothing, look at the cars you are matching up.

If you have a Honda Civic trying to jumpstart a Chevy Bronco, you may have an issue. The smaller battery may not be strong enough to charge the larger one. You can wait longer to see if a charge will build, but most likely you will need to find a larger car to jump from. The rule is you want an equal or larger battery as the jump-er.

So if the battery sizes are equal, and the cables are of heavy industrial strength, you should get a charge and the car should start. Then, unhook the cables — red from the jump-er then red from the jump-ee, etc. — and let the car run to build up a charge.

That’s it.

So do you now know how to jumpstart a car?

No. Because you haven’t done it yet.

Put a good set of cables in your trunk and wait to find someone you can help and once you’ve actually jumpstarted, then you know how to do it. And when you find someone — walking out to them with your heavy duty cables still in their plastic bag —  be honest. Tell the person that you have never used the cables but are willing to help. And don’t be embarrassed by this. I had a neighbor — he was almost sixty at the time — I found reading his car manual trying to find out how to jumpstart his car. He refused to let me help him because he wouldn’t admit he didn’t know how to do it.

The worst kind of knowledge is the type that is offered but never accepted.