A radical statistical shift is when a significant number of people within a group suddenly change in action — it’s the unexpected, quick right turn of statistics. It’s when, without communicating and completely independent of the group, individuals act in a common but unpredicted manner that isn’t orchestrated or even acknowledged and the group shifts. So, instead of deciding between a Ford or Chevy, for example, millions sell their cars and start riding bicycles; or a neighborhood that is prime and expanding, suddenly sees a mass exodus of people selling and moving to live off the grid. It’s the place on the graph when the spike moves sideways.

It’s the didn’t see that coming, moment.

One of these radical statistic shifts have occurred with men over the last ten years that wasn’t expected and is more than a little shocking.

For the first time in American history, the largest group of people most likely to commit suicide are — middle aged men.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, middle-aged men — those between the ages of 45 to 64 — have the highest rate of suicide; a rate that has been rising since 1999.

Which means that for the first time ever, the once vulnerable teenager — insecure, sullen, angry and fearful — is half as likely to kill themselves as their own fathers are.

Why is this?

Well, one major driver seems to be that men emotionally suffer alone — especially when it comes to sensitive areas such as stress, relationships and financial issues; common categories involved in suicide among men. Men ignore it and suck it up. We plow through crisis rather than dealing with the causes. We fight instead of discuss and — and here is the big one — we don’t know how to, or even want to, cope with the possibility that we may be — depressed. We see depression as something that’s for the weak and an area to simply ignore and work through. Men can view depression as being ungrateful — as a slap in the face to our family, friends and work — since what do we have to be depressed about? As well as see it as a state that only occurs to frail people, ungrateful people. Not to us.

Now, does being depressed mean that we are likely to commit suicide?

Absolutely not. It’s the smallest percentage of depressed men that go on to commit suicide. The very smallest. But — here’s the important part — all men that commit suicide are depressed.

So what does that mean?

Well, it means that as tough as it sounds, we men need to acknowledge and face the fact that we are very likely to get depressed, return to it and possibly may be depressed right now.

SINGS OF DEPRESSION IN MEN

• Unexpected anger and anxiety
• Loss of interest in once pleasurable activities — work, family, friend
• Change in libido.
• Not being able to sleep or wanting to sleep all the time.
• Feeling very tired
• Difficulty in concentrating or remember details
• Overeating, or not wanting to eat at all
• Escapist or risky behavior; driving recklessly, compulsive gambling, abuse of drugs or alcohol, or an emersion in pornography.
• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems

Yup. So according to the math, there is a 73% chance that you have been, will be or currently are, depressed. And the first step — that absolute silver bullet — is to acknowledge it. To recognize it.

Being depressed as a man does not make you weak. It doesn’t make you vulnerable. It doesn’t mean you’re broken and it doesn’t even mean that it’s a permanent state.

It makes you human.

And being human males, there are certain ways — methods that are effective for us — to work through the depression.

Here are a few.

1. Exercise. Exercise is the absolutely best self-treatment for depression. Physical activity releases endorphins in the brain and elevates mood — even a 20 minute walk each day can have amazing results in how clear you think and how you deal with stress.
2. Unplug. In our stressful lives, it’s important to build in time to turn off the cell phone and computer and give yourself permission to leave the cyber web for a while. Go for a walk, a bike ride or go read a book — without being able to be contacted by text, email or voice. Step out and go black for a while. Or a weekend. Disconnect.
3. Identify sources of stress. This is a big one in men because we see this as a weakness but by classifying what we see as stressful, we can create ways to act differently. To build in methods to counter it. If we know the Tuesday meeting is stressful, we can schedule our workout right before it, or if that confrontation with the neighbor is going to get heated we can go watch a comedy before and just laugh for an hour.
4. Accept help when it’s offered. Whether it’s having someone else read through your presentation or getting a neighbor to help you stack wood, asking for help is difficult for men. But it does not mean your weak and it does not mean you’ve failed if you need help to accomplish something. It shows wisdom in asking for and accepting help.
5. Say no. This is huge with men. Not only do we want to do everything, we want to do it all well and we want there  to be no limit. But we also need to find what works for us. Over committing is the fastest way to tap into your energy reserves and sabotage other areas of your life. It’s not weak, uncaring or wrong — to say, no. It’s healthy and wise.
6. Talk. Find someone —  a member of your family, a friend, co-worker, professional, it doesn’t matter — and begin to unload. Talk about what’s going on; what’s your feeling and frustrated with. It’s very common that when you begin to actually put into words how you feel, the bubble weakens. But here is the trick. For many of us that finally unload on thoughts and feelings that we’ve kept bottled up we often feel angry afterwards. Agree that when we talk we are not going to regret the talking.